Last week I explored the phenomena of people assuming the loudest person in the room is the best leader. Those people who are loud and willing to share their ideas and thoughts do not necessarily have the best ideas and opinions.
Let’s dig a little deeper to see how the quieter people in the room might be able to bring their own ideas and opinions into the light of day. While it’s helpful for leaders to take a facilitative approach and create opportunities for everyone to be heard, it takes more than this to initiate that same level of confidence to everyone on an ongoing basis.
Which person are you; are you one of the loudest ones or one of the quieter ones in a meeting?
Is it confidence that is holding you back? If you have confidence in spades, it’s still a good idea to understand that many people, for whatever reason, don’t. And this can be the missing ingredient holding them back from being the best version of themselves.
Building confidence in ourselves and others is crucial for living an enriched life and doing our best work.
There’s a great TED talk on confidence by teacher Brittany Packnett Cunningham ‘How to build your confidence and spark it in others’. It’s well worth a listen. According to Cunningham, “a lack of confidence pulls us down from the bottom and weighs us down from the top, crushing us between a flurry of cant’s, wont’s and impossibles. Without confidence, we get stuck, and when we get stuck, we can’t even get started”. When we don’t have confidence, it can be a suffocating feeling, particularly if we are all too aware of our potential, if we only had the confidence to fulfil our dreams and have our ideas heard.
So how do we get more confidence and spark it in others?
According to Cunningham there are three main criteria that are the foundations for confidence building;
- Permission
Confidence is something that begins in our childhood. Think about children in a classroom, do they have a teacher who gives them permission to shine, to be confident. Or do they have a teacher who extinguishes the spark of confidence. In the playground, are they surrounded by other kids who spark their confidence, encourage it to flourish, or who stifle it and make them feel self-conscious of their confidence. Parents also play a big role in giving people permission to be confident. Have they seen their parents go into the world, advocate for themselves and make live a life of achievement? Do their parents lay the foundations to make them know they can live their life their way and to reach for their dreams.
Leaders can create work cultures where people are given permission to be confident; where ideas are welcomed, where people can openly communicate their career objectives, and they are supported in their endeavors.
- Community
When we feel supported by our community, we are more likely to have our confidence grow. Taking steps from having an idea or a goal can sometimes be scary and challenging but when we have people around to talk to and encourage us to do it anyway, it gives us the courage to keep going.
Workplaces can be strong communities to support and spark confidence in others in this way. Having strong teams, a strong collaborative leadership approach and a culture that fosters curiosity, experimentation, idea generation and collaboration help to make this possible. When less confident people in a workplace see others supported and applauded for their confidence and achievements, it encourages them to take those brave first steps.
Integrating a good dose of vulnerability into the mix, and demonstrating your vulnerability helps others see that everyone suffers from moments of self-doubt and fosters a team spirit of support, encouragement and compassion. All vital
- Curiosity
Thirdly, creating an environment where curiosity is encouraged allows people to stay open minded, it gives them permission to operate with a growth mindset. Curiosity invites people to be in charge of their own learning. Having an experimental approach to work and asking people what they learned (with the focus being on learning from mistakes instead of avoiding failure) is an excellent foundation to springboard into creating a highly confident team.
How do you build confidence in yourself and your team? I’d love to know. Could your leadership team benefit from one of my tailored workshops? Please get in touch today. I’d love to help!