Someone asked me recently if I could pinpoint an experience in my journey as a leader that had a profound impact on me, and it made me think of an incident that happened to me in the very first week as a leader. I’d worked under some pretty average leaders, so I thought I had a good understanding of what not to do. I was determined to be the best leader I could be; focused, fair, engaged and always there for my team. I was convinced that my leadership journey would start with a bang of positivity. But of course, life has a way of shaking things up and safe to say that was not how things rolled out. One of the first things I learned came from an experience that I’ll never forget.
Before stepping fully into my new role, I had a meeting with the current leader of the team, to get the lay of the land, and have a solid handover. At the time, I was thinking of all the high-level strategies I’d bring to the table. All the stuff I’d learned. Leading through major decisions, grand team-building initiatives, building purpose and engagement and all those things you imagine when you think of leadership; bringing the theory to life. Or so I thought.
To my horror, as we sat there facing one another, she slid a manila folder across the table to me explaining; “these are the team members’ performance appraisals. I’ve written them, but I haven’t delivered them yet. One of the first things you might want to do as the new team leader is give these out.” My heart sank. As I read through them, they were not all glowing reviews. I wanted to come in like a breath of fresh air, not to dish out constructive feedback to people I had not even met.
Anyone who’s been tasked with delivering performance appraisals knows that it can be tricky, to put it mildly. And here I was, doing it for the first time, to people I had not yet worked with, delivering someone else’s feedback. The eternal optimist, I thought, “Hey, no big deal. I’ll power through this and make the best of it.”
The next few days were a blur of awkward conversations. As I sat with each team member, going through the appraisals, it was a never-ending stream of questions. “Why did she write that about me?” “What does this mean?” “Why didn’t I get a five?” “What do I have to do to get a five around here?” Three days of that, and I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally.
It was in those moments; the small, challenging moments, that I had my first real leadership epiphany. Leadership isn’t something that happens once a year during performance appraisals. It’s not just about the big moments, like delivering feedback or hosting a team meeting. It’s about the little moments that happen every day. Leadership is a year-round activity.
Think about it: no farmer waits until the last day of the season to do all the work. They’re out there, day in and day out, tending to their crops, feeding their animals, and making sure everything runs smoothly. It’s the little things that add up to a successful harvest. Leadership is no different.
If you wait until the big moments like performance reviews or annual appraisals, to try to make an impact, you might miss the boat. You need to be present for your team all the time. It’s in the brief conversations in the hallways, the text you sent to say thank you for a job well done, the ability to just listen and empathise when someone’s having a rough day. These are the moments that matter most. The big moments are great, but they can’t make up for a lack of consistency throughout the year.
As John Maxwell, a leadership author and thought leader reflects; “Leadership is not about the big, dramatic moments. It’s about the little things that happen every day.” He’s absolutely right. It’s the little things that build trust and make a leader someone people can rely on. It’s the conversations you have when you’re not trying to make a huge impact, but just connecting with your team on a human level. I like to call them water bubbler moments. When you run into someone in the hallway, in the kitchen and make a small meaningful connection with them. They are often the most memorable ones.
I didn’t want to make my first task in the role the thing that defined me. I wanted to show my team that I could be trusted, and that I was a good leader. So despite getting off to a rocky start, I was determined to be conscious of how I showed up every day. It’s easy to think you can coast through the year and then “wow” everyone at the big moments. But what matters more is the steady, everyday work. It’s how you show up when it’s not a big event, when it’s just another day in the life of a leader.
So, when I look back at that first experience, I’m thankful. It wasn’t easy, but it was the start of a much deeper understanding of what leadership is really about. It’s about the little moments and the everyday conversations, the ongoing support, and the consistency that builds trust. And that’s what truly makes a leader great.
What are some of the big lessons you learned early on in your leadership role? If your leadership team could do with some guidance I have been delivering successful leadership workshops that bring people together for years. I’d love to help, Don’t hesitate. Get in touch today.